I was thinking last night about something Fr. Greg said to me on the phone last week. He said, "You could've given up on God but you haven't." I was thinking about it and I was wondering how in the world I still have my faith after 2 years of being an addict and all the shit that seems to happen to me. When Kim Walker sings the song "How He Loves" she says something in the middle of the live performance. She says,"The love of God changes us and we're never the same. We're never the same after we encounter the love of God." I completely agree with that. When I was 15 and God busted into my life and completely turned everything upside down, I was never the same person ever again. From then on, I lived my life for Christ. For 3 years, I was in what St. John of the Cross called a "dark night of the soul" which can basically be described as spiritual dryness. All through that time, I longed for God. I would cry because I wanted to know God was around me. God did something in me that cold night in March 2006. He changed my heart forever. He knew I was going to go though all this shit in college, so sometime before I started college, He gave me some sort of grace to not quit on Him. I didn't really realize that until Fr. Greg brought it up. God put such a yearning in my soul for Him that I up and left everything I knew to go to a school 4 hours from home where I had 2 acquaintances. I knew that going to Franciscan was the only way I could ever try to fix my relationship with God. Franciscan soon became home and my friends quickly became family. Over the last year, God has consistently done amazing things to help me and it's all by His grace I'm still here and haven't given up on Him. I haven't given up on God and He hasn't given up on me. I'm living my life Ad Majorem Dei gloraim (For the greater glory of God).
"We are not defeated unless we give up on God." -Ronald Reagan
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