Saturday, December 18, 2010

Feeling A Little Betrayed

Today in the mail, my family got a letter in the mail from the pastor of our church. It said that the parochial vicar (who helped me the summer after my freshman year at Xavier and has taken my blades on multiple occasions) has been put on a leave of absence effective immediately. It said that he had an inappropriate relationship with a female parishioner. I'm kinda numb to all of this right now because I'm having a really hard time processing it. This is one of those things you never think could happen to you. I know he's only human and we all screw up. It's just hard for me to believe he could do this. He was a HUGE help to me and honestly, it makes me really disappointed to know that he did this.

One thing that I'm trying to deal with is the fact that I saw him at Mass just on Wednesday and it makes me wonder how in the world he could celebrate Mass with that on his mind. I wonder how long this relationship took place and how many times I received the Eucharist from him. I have lost no respect for him, don't get me wrong. He is a priest who should still be respected. I'm just disappointed, you know? When I read the letter, it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. It's making me question everything, although it really shouldn't. He was able to help me a lot, but I can't help but wonder. It just hurt. He promised he'd be there for me no matter what, and now he can't be. I feel kinda betrayed.

With all this crap, I just want to cut. I texted Fr. Greg about it and he was like "Two wrongs don't make a right...the hurt you feel tonight will be, at least, DOUBLE tomorrow, if you cut tonight." I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him to help me keep things in perspective.

Please pray for the priest involved and my parish as we try to deal with this. Thank you.

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