A HUGE Step Toward Recovery

So today, I took a HUGE step towards stopping my self-injury. I am really good friends with one of the priests at my church, Fr. Robert. He and I had quite a long conversation yesterday. He told me that this has got to stop or this is going to kill me. Of course, I already knew that, but having someone else tell me made me realize how serious this all really is. Fr. Robert is genuinely concerned about me and I could tell when he said that to me yesterday. His tone absolutely broke my heart. I almost started crying. So last night, I decided I was going to get rid of my blades. Before I came to this conclusion, I did end up cutting. There was a lot of drama that occurred last night. It was ridiculous. But when I was done cutting, I decided that I was going to get rid of the blades. I tried so hard to throw them away, but I just couldn't. I just couldn't drop the blades into the trash can, so I e-mailed Fr. Robert and asked him if he'd do me a favor. I asked him if I stopped by his office and gave him the blades, would he get rid of them for me. He gladly accepted and as soon as I walked into his office this afternoon, the first thing he said to me was "Give them to me, NOW!" I hesitated for a second and then handed all 4 blades to him. He took them and put them in a drawer and locked the drawer.

By giving Fr. Robert my blades, I no longer have anything to cut with. It was extremely hard for me to give them to him today, but I knew that it had to be done. I also promised him that I would not cut the rest of the time I am at home. I am not one to break promises, so I know for sure that I will not be cutting for the next week and a half.


And you will know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. They answered Him, "We are Abraham's descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."
- John 8:32-36