A Four Word Text Message.

All it took was a 4-word text message to bring me to tears this morning. I was texting Fr. Greg last night, just letting him know how down I was. He didn't respond when I was awake. I fell asleep praying the Rosary at about 11:30 last night. I was out cold, or as my dad would say, "sawing logs" (He's a country boy. Can you tell? lol) I had a really bad night last night. Fr. Greg is really the only person I feel like I have in my life that I can be completely vulnerable with. He's seen me at my best and he's seen me at my worst. These are pretty raw emotions from last night. Here are the texts I sent Fr. Greg:

"Why do I still feel like there's all this crap inside me that I can only get out by cutting when there shouldn't be. It's day 89. Things should be better by now."

"I feel so alone. I shouldn't want to cut. Where is God when I need him? He's supposed to never leave me. I feel like He's left me here to fix myself."

"I've done everything I know to do. I can barely even pray anymore, which is a HUGE problem. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't know why I'm here. I don't want to be here anymore."

"I'm sorry for being such a screw up. I wish I wasn't such a piece of hunk. Remember in Confession at St. Andrew's when you told me God didn't create junk? He did. He created me."

"I feel like my life's not worth shit. I've tried so many times over the last 2 years to fix it, yet here I am. Still screwed up. I'm done."

At 1:06am, I received a text (which I didn't get until this morning at 7:00am) with 4 little words. It said "I love you, Catherine." I was blown away this morning. I had no idea that all I needed was for someone to tell me they loved me. I'm tearing up now just thinking about it. He's stuck by me for the last two years and if God hadn't brought him into my life when He did, I wouldn't be alive today. Fr. Greg has been someone who's constantly kept me grounded and been there for me when my life became a living hell. In one of Matthew West's new songs called "Hold You Up" there's a line that I feel like Fr. Greg has done for me. It says "I'm not gonna leave you when your world becomes a war. I'm staying in the trenches 'cause you're worth fighting for."

I've been in kind of a funk today because of it. I keep looking at the text to make sure I actually got it. I had no idea that a little 4-letter word text would make me feel better than anything else he could have said.

Call or tell someone you love them today. It may save their life.