Who am I?

I've been thinking today about who I am. I have my likes and dislikes, but who am I? I could give you many answers, but these 4 are what hit me today.

A strong Catholic
A college student
A future missionary
A cutter

Why is it that I allow my mistakes to define me? I've messed up a lot in my life. I've hurt people. I've cut myself countless times.

I looked at my legs today and looked at the scars. I looked at my arm today and ran my hand over them. I let these stupid little things define me. But, how can I be loved when I've done so much damage. I'm a very broken person and I've accepted that. I'm trying to turn to the Lord and allow Him to fix it, but I'm not really sure how to surrender. Matt Maher's new song Rise Up has the line: "When you don't know how to surrender 'cause your whole life's been a fight..." There you go. Story of my life. I'm one hell of a fighter, but sometimes I wonder how much I have left in me. I've been fighting every day for the last 1,127 days.

Maybe that's who I am: a fighter. Hopefully the Lord can show me. I don't want to define myself as a cutter anymore. I just can't help thinking that I am. I'm reminded every single day by the scars. But I'm fighting.

"I was a fighter and very determined. There was no way I was going to back out without winning." -Christine Lahti