More Divine Intervention and "You Matter Very Much"

More Divine Intervention occurred earlier this week. It was Tuesday night. I was so close to cutting. I haven't wanted to cut that bad in a long time. I physically felt the longing for the blade. I knew it was a demon trying to get me to give in. It got so bad that I picked up my Rosary and begged Mama Mary to make it go away. I started crying, I was praying so intensely. Then, after like 5 minutes, it went away and I had a huge sense of peace. I felt so loved. It was awesome. The Blessed Mother is consistently rocking my world and I absolutely love it.

On another note, I wanted to post a blog that's on To Write Love On Her Arms' website right now. It was written by the founder, Jamie Tworkowski. It's called "You Matter Very Much" and it really hit home:

"I hope you know you're not the only one who feels the way you feel. You are not the only one who struggles. You are not the only one with questions. You are not crazy. You deserve to be heard, to be known. You deserve love.

You deserve love.

You deserve a place that feels like home. You deserve some hands to hold. Hands to pull you past the broken moments, hands to catch you when you fall. Eyes to see you. To say you're there, that you exist, that you change a room, that your presence is significant. Ears to hear you - hear your stories, hear you laugh. Ears to hear your questions and to say they matter.

Your questions matter.

Maybe call a friend today or invite someone to coffee. Tell someone they matter or tell someone you could use a conversation. Write a letter or ask someone how they're doing. Like a song too much. Feel the drums or get lost in the chorus. It means that you're alive.

It's good that you're alive. Who else could play your part?

i hope you get to a place, wake to a day, where that feels true. You deserve to know it's true.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a community of people with questions and struggles. It is for broken people and it is led by broken people. Life is heavy and light. Life is both. Beauty and pain, aches and dreams... We are saying that it's okay to talk about those things. We are saying that we need to. We are choosing to believe that stories deserve better endings. That hope is real, that help is real, that people need other people.

You are not alone today. You matter very much.

Peace to you.

Jamie"

My friends and I went out for an early birthday celebration today. My 20th birthday is on Sunday, so we decided to go out and celebrate. While at dinner, my friend Martha handed me a box. I opened it and inside of it were letters, written by all of my friends, telling me how much I mean to them. As I read them, I broke down in tears. I love these people so, so, so much. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have made it this far. I am so blessed!!