Is It Worth It?

I'm fighting one of the strongest impulses I've had in a long time. It started after Mass this evening and went through dinner. I've been doing my best to stay out of my room because I don't trust myself right now. I prayed the second day of my Consecration to Mary and then stayed in the chapel until Vespers. Now I'm in my room, trying to stay strong. I've been working on homework to try and stay distracted, but now that I'm done, I don't really know what to do. My roommate's not here, so I'm on the verge of texting one of my friends to have them come over. I don't really know why I want to cut. I know that if I do, my life's going to be a living hell for the next few weeks, but right now, I just want the relief. Fr. Greg texted me the other day saying that I need to remember how much worse giving in to the impulse makes my life. I'm trying to remember that, but it's just so hard. All I want to do is drag the blade across my forearm and see the blood. I know that it's going to make things worse, but the relief is all I want. It's so frustrating. I think I'm just going to go to the chapel and pray.