So I figured I'd share with you something that happened while I was getting the MRI on Saturday. Because with MRIs you have to be as still as possible, all I could do was just lay there. I've been thinking a lot about why this is happening to me now. It's like I've got WAY too much going on right now to have to deal with being in constant pain and facing the possibility of having surgery. Well, as I lay on the MRI table, I started praying and I feel like God was telling me that He's telling me to slow down and rely on Him. I've been trying to go without God for a while now and obviously it's not working. I was up until 5am Saturday morning because I was in so much pain. I was just crying and praying, begging God to make the pain stop. Well, He didn't, but that was the first time I've said a serious prayer in a long time. It's hard for me to try and rely on other people. I'm so independent and HATE asking for help. When I ask for help, I feel like I'm a burden to the other person and I really don't like burdening people. As a result of my being so independent, I think that's why I used to think I can do this without God, which totally isn't true. I'm nothing without God. So I'm trying to slow down and let things work out the way God wants them to.
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” -Revelation 21:3-4
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