Fall Break in DC

Erinn, Kevin, and I just got back from DC, and dang...it was blessed. Fr. James, a Dominican priest that Erinn knows, agreed to do their wedding, which is SUPER awesome :)

I got to see Fr. Greg on Saturday. He started off with the thing he always does. He hugged me and just held me. He does this thing where he puts his hand on the back of my head and just holds me with his arms wrapped around me. Fr. Greg is the person who loved me when no one else did. He's always been by my side since I met him almost 3 years ago. My relationship with him is somewhere between best friend and father. It's weird, but Fr. Greg's friendship is one of the things I cherish most in my life. He's the only reason I'm still alive. His words are what has gotten me through some of the roughest nights of my life.

We sat down and had our normal talk and prayer time. I wasn't really in the mood to get too deep, so he asked me how I was and I tried to bullshit him right off the back. He caught it. Part of me was hoping he wouldn't, but he's known me long enough that before I was even done saying the sentence. He asked me how I was and I said I wasn't too bad. I said I was tired because I'm always so busy with school, but hey, welcome to college. He said, "No. You know what I mean. How are you?" I knew right then I was going to have to do what I was hoping I wouldn't. So, we talked. He asked me about everything going on and then he randomly stopped me and said, "You have to stop thinking I'm going to quit on you. I'm a priest. I'm supposed to be Christ to you. If I quit on you, then I'm not doing my job. And I'd also be doing a shitty job of being your friend. You can try to get me to quit on you, but it ain't happenin, kid." Trust me, I've tried to push him away and get him to quit on me MANY times over the last few years. He'll even tell you I do a good job of trying to push him away, but that I never will be able to.

After we talked for a while, he and I went to the chapel and he prayed over me. He first anointed my head and began praying. He placed his hands on my head and prayed in silence. He was shaking. Then he sat down next to me and anointed my hands and prayed that my hands would no longer hurt, but heal. He prayed that I would know and truly believe that I am loved, and know that I am a woman of God for whom He has great things planned. He knelt down in front of me, pulled my sleeve up. I stopped him. I wouldn't let him see the scars left from the cutting a few weeks ago. He took my face in his hands, looked me in the eye, and said "I don't care. Please. You need this." I hesitated for a second then pulled up my sleeve for him. I watched his face to see if I could tell what he was thinking. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. He looked at my arm, looked at me, and he started to tear up.and a tear came down his left cheek That's when I lost it. I couldn't handle it. I tried to get up and leave the chapel, but he stopped me. He asked me to stay for him, so I agreed. I sat back down and he continued praying over me. All I could do was look at my hands and think about all the damage I'd done to myself with them. He finished praying over me and sat back down next to me. He said, "What are you thinking?" I told him that my hands had done so much damage that I wonder how they'll ever be able to do any good. He just sat there. Then, a minute later, I said, "The scars." He looked at me and told me that they don't matter. I fought him on that one. I told him that they matter to me. I asked him how the heck am I ever supposed to heal from all this when ever single day, multiple times a day, I have to see the damage I've done to myself. He said I'd get there.

Then, I stood up and he hugged me again. He said, "I love you, Catherine. I'm glad you're still here." He hugged me tighter and I told him that he was the only reason I'm still here. Then, he just held on. He put his hand on the back of my head again and then the tears started flowing again. I know I've said it before, but when he hugs me, it's like God's got His arms wrapped around me. I literally could stay in Fr. Greg's hugs all day.

I have never felt as loved as I have when I'm with Fr. Greg. Like I've said a million times before, he's the truest example of Christ in my life and he is one of my best friends. He's such a gift to me. I needed Christ in my life, so God gave me Fr. Greg.