Well, I'm 34 days clean and feeling really good. I think this might be the beginning of my new life: a life where cutting isn't a part of it. Being back at school with everyone here has been a huge blessing. One thing I realized about Franciscan is that is what it is because of the people here. It's not just being at Franciscan. It's definitely the students that make it so incredible.
Yes, this summer was full of trials, but as Oscar Wilde once said, "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." Through all the shit that happened this summer, I was able to start my relationship with the Blessed Mother, which really helped increase my faith in the night that Fr. Rick prayed over me in my car. Everything changed that night.
I had a kinda hard night last night, but being able to text with Fr. Greg definitely helped. Last night was a night where I was doubting people's love and wondering why people put up with me. I asked him why he puts up with my and why he hasn't given up on me. I told him he really should just give up on me. He told me he's not going anywhere, which actually made me tear up because I've never really had someone support me like he has. I cannot explain to you how many times the littlest things he's done have saved my life. The text he sent me last night saying that he's not going anywhere is now locked in my phone and whenever I need it, I'll look at it. I was thinking the other day about how he and I met. It was so random, but definitely God's plan. We met at the March for Life in Washington, DC in 2009 when the group from Xavier stayed at his church at the time. I almost didn't go to the March for Life that year because I had a very poor experience my senior year of high school, but for some reason, I went that year. I knew the minute I met him that something about Fr. Greg was different. He ate dinner with us and talked with us like we were friends. It was cool. Then, he knew exactly what to tell me in Confession that night. Never have I felt such a strong calling on my heart than when I felt the Lord calling me to talk to him about everything. He was kinda my last hope. I talked a lot to 2 priests at Xavier, but I told God that if talking with Fr. Greg was pointless, I was giving up for good. Well, that night, so much changed. I know a lot of incredible people, but Fr. Greg has shown me how God can truly work through people. He really is the truest example of Christ in my life. I pray for him every single day. He doesn't know this, but if my vocation is to get married, I plan on asking him to preside over my wedding. I seriously would've been gone a long time ago if it weren't for him.
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