Divine Intervention

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been crazy with summer classes. But something insane happened last week. Last Wednesday, I was having a really rough day. I felt a really strong urge to cut, but deep down, I didn't want to cut, so I prayed to God saying that if He didn't want me to cut, He had to have someone intervene, whether it be a phone call, text message, knock on the door, whatever. Well, that night, I picked up a blade I had found when I was moving dorms. I took it, went into the bathroom, locked the door, and sat on the floor. I put the blade to my arm. As I was about to cut, a physical force was placed on my hand and I couldn't drag the blade across my arm. No matter how hard I tried, the force was so strong that I couldn't move it. I gave up and threw away the blade. I texted my friend Joey to tell him what had just happened. He and I went to the chapel to pray. As I was in there, I started to cry and I told God that I was sorry for having almost cut. I then told God that if I was going to stop cutting for good, then I needed His help. Then I really felt these words really strongly on my heart: "Then come to me and ask for help more often." Then, after Joey and I left the chapel, at like 1am, we were talking outside and he prayed out loud, "Mama Mary, was that you?" All of the sudden, we both smelled roses. I smelled them and didn't say anything. Then he said that he smelled them and I told him I did too. It was crazy. It was confirmation to both of us that it was Mama Mary who'd put her hand on mine to keep me from cutting. Then, as we were standing there, I really felt like she was trying to tell me something. I came to a realization...I consecrated myself to her. I am her slave. She wants me to start acting like it now. So now, I pray every day that she helps me get to know her and her Son better. I also told another one of my friends about what had happened. That night, she sent me a Facebook message saying "So today I got to hold my new cousin Jack for the first time. He's one month old. At one point, I was just letting him hold my finger and I was looking at his arm and just in awe of how perfect it is. Come on! He's a newborn, he has beautiful baby skin and no scars from any bike accident or anything. It made me a little jealous for a minute to realize that my skin will never be like that, and I said a quick prayer for whoever in the world might need it, for Mama to watch over them and keep them from hurting in their time of desperation. Just thought you should know cause you just texted me and I was like, shit no! and then I was like whoa! Mama wrap us in the mantle of your protection, let us always feel your loving presence. AMEN."

Before this, I never really took time to have a relationship with the Blessed Mother. Now, I absolutely love having a spiritual mother along with my real mom. Last Wednesday, God rocked my world. It's been 46 days since I last cut. Things are really turning around.