Monday, March 26, 2012

God Came Through For Me

God really worked tonight in Confession. It started out pretty funny. The 3 priests who came in first were Fr. Seraphim, Fr. Dan, and Fr. Conrad. I said to the Lord "I'll go to the next priest who walks in." Well, 10 seconds later, Fr. Rick walked in. I was like "Very funny." So, I sat down next to Fr. Rick. He asked me about my foot, then Confession began. I spilled my heart more than I ever had in Confession. I had to get all this crap out. I talked for like 5 minutes straight. When I was done, Fr. Rick looked at me and said, "Catherine, you have no idea how much this world needs you. Those Romanian kids need you. They already know you're coming back. You can't let them down." Then he asked me why I loved Haiti so much. All I could say was "The love." He sat there for a second and then asked me my birthday. All I could think was "Why does that matter?" Then he said, "Did you decide to be born on June 6, 1990?" I said no. Then he said, "Well, you don't get to pick the day you die either." I needed to hear that so bad. And I hadn't even said anything about the thoughts of wanting to give up. He reminded me how loved I am, especially by him, and the joy that I bring so many people. He also said that my faith inspired him. He said that throughout all this, I constantly turn back to the Lord. I go to Confession generally every other week. He is my regular confessor, so he's always hearing my crap. He said that I have more faith than I think I do, or else I wouldn't have been sitting there. I agreed and he said that I have to share that. The people in Romania need to have their faith renewed and he said that he knows I'm the one who is going to change the whole country of Romania. He then took my arm and pointed to my white "love" tattoo. He told me to look at it and remember all that it stands for. Then he took my other arm and told me to look at my other arm. He asked me what it said (he just wanted me to say it out loud. He knew what it said. lol) I said "fighter" and he said that is exactly who I am and who he sees me as. A fighter of the good fight. A woman who has dealt with so much crap, but continually fights with the Lord as her commander. Then after I did my penance and walked outside with Erinn, I took the post-it note I'd written all my sins on and set it on fire in the parking lot. It was a kind of "In your face, Satan!" move. I'm white as snow and this is where I start completely new.

So, because of Fr. Rick and his words (which were most definitely inspired by the Holy Spirit), I will conquer day 104.

Now, to think about who I believe God truly is and let Him just love on me through that meditation. Those are Fr. Rick's orders. Gotta do what Padre says :)

My prayer tonight:
Lord, thank you for the gift of faith You have instilled in me. Please, increase that faith more and more every day. Jesus, may every single beat of my heart be for your glory. As St. Augustine said, "Thus, before all else, Christ came so that people might learn how much God loves them, and might learn this so that they would catch fire for Him who first loved them." Lord, set my heart on fire for You, so that all I want to do is share Your love with others. Amen.

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