Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Happy Feast of the Archangels
Today, in the Catholic Church, we celebrate the Feast of the Archangels. The archangels are St. Michael, St. Raphael, and St. Gabriel. I'm a huge fan of St. Michael. He's done so much for me. Through his powerful intercession along with the Blessed Mother, I was able to get my life back. This is my favorite picture of St. Michael the Archangel.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
"Strong Enough" - Matthew West
Another song that is totally the story of my life...It just came out like 2 weeks ago and I'm a huge fan.
Monday, September 20, 2010
60 days
Wow...60 days. 60 days clean. Sometimes I can't believe it. I've only gotten this far by the grace of God. If He hadn't intervened when he did, I probably wouldn't have made it to today. Life is generally really good. I went home this weekend to see Matt Maher and Tenth Avenue North play a concert together, which was really cool! I took 17 friends with me and it was so great. I cried when Tenth Ave sang "You Are More" because that song is totally my life story. My household big sister was there and when she realized what song was playing, she turned around and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're so much more." What was even crazier was that Mike, the lead singer of Tenth Ave, made eye contact with me. We were close enough that I know he could see us and I wonder if he recognized me from two years before. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy, but if he did make eye contact with me, then that makes that song so much more special.
I am more than a cutter. It took so long for me to realize that. For almost 2 years, I let it define me. My friend Jackie has been a huge support the last 6 months and the other day, she made a comment. She said, "You know...you don't wear your jacket as much as you used to." I said, "Yeah. It's because I'm finally not letting my struggle define me anymore."
These post-its are from Jackie :)
I am more than a cutter. It took so long for me to realize that. For almost 2 years, I let it define me. My friend Jackie has been a huge support the last 6 months and the other day, she made a comment. She said, "You know...you don't wear your jacket as much as you used to." I said, "Yeah. It's because I'm finally not letting my struggle define me anymore."
These post-its are from Jackie :)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A Homily by Fr. Greg
I just wanted to share Fr. Greg's homily from this past weekend with you. The Gospel read this past weekend was the story of the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, and the Lost Son (also known as the Prodigal Son). Fr. Greg's homily was fantastic. I've only ever heard him give a homily once, but I wish I could more often. He's so passionate about the Catholic faith and I love it.
24th Sunday of Ordinary Time - Homily
A recent survey found that “approximately one-third of all respondents who say they were raised Catholic no longer describe themselves as Catholic. This means that roughly 10% of all Americans are former Catholics”. Wow. That’s very sad. There are many reasons why so many people have left the Church. One underlying point is that almost every single one of these people is like St. Paul – at least, how he used to be: in ignorance. They really don’t know what the Church is all about; if they did, they were never leave. And, like St. Paul, they need to be mercifully treated. I don’t blame them exclusively. In fact, the Church has to do a better job of teaching people what it means to be Catholic. It has to do a much better job of showing Jesus Christ to people. This is exactly what the “New Evangelization” of the Church is all about.
The New Evangelization means reaching out to people, especially those who have left the Church, and showing them Christ. In my opinion, this primarily means leading them to the Eucharist. There was a study done years ago that found that 70% of Catholics believe that the Eucharist is only a symbol of the Body and Blood of Christ. Again, people don’t believe the teaching because they don’t know the teaching. The Church needs to do a better job of teaching that the Eucharist is truly and really the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. The New Evangelization involves teaching and showing the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
The other primary staple of the New Evangelization should be Confession. Once someone begins to see that Christ is real in the Eucharist, then he or she will see that He is real in the Confession. This is how it happened for me. I learned that Christ is really present in the Eucharist and then realized that he is present in the confessional (and all the sacraments). It’s really Him forgiving sins through the priest. The Eucharist and Confession are real! If Catholics really knew this, they would never leave the Church.
Jesus helps us to see that Confession is real with tonight’s parable, the Prodigal Son. This parable is often used to explain the sacrament of Confession. The son is each one of us; the father is God the Father. We can all relate in some way to the son. He leaves home with his inheritance and probably thought, ‘I am free! I can do whatever I want now!’ And, this is what he did. He got into all kinds of bad stuff – a “life of dissipation”, Scripture says. This can be translated as “debauchery”, a more familiar word to college students. He was partying it up, getting hammered and hanging out with prostitutes.
He represents college students, not just with drinking or getting high, but with all kinds of stuff that are going on on this campus: random hooking up, cutting, skipping Mass, taking God’s name in vain and just throwing His sacred name all over the place, pornography, masturbation, gossip, and all kinds of stuff. He got in way deep with this and then basically realized, “this stinks. The swine are living better than I am’. This type of living brought him to his knees. We might call this rock bottom. He realized that he wasn’t happy and that he screwed up. He needed to return to his father.
When he returned, his father didn’t scream at him or ask him where he had been. After all of this, the father embraced him, kissed him, and threw him a big party. This is the image of God the Father any time one of us returns to Him…any time one of us asks for mercy…any time one of us goes to Confession. God the Father always offers mercy to us. And, that is what I offer you in Confession. No matter what kind of debauchery you’ve been in or how long you’ve been in it, I will offer you mercy in Confession. It is the mercy of the Father that I offer you.
This is what the Church is offering in the New Evangelization. It is bringing people to the mercy of Christ and bringing the mercy of Christ to people. When I evangelize about God’s Mercy, especially through Confession, I refer to this Gospel. Three times we heard that there is great rejoicing in Heaven when a sinner repents. So, when someone returns to Confession after being away for a while or for something big, there is a great party in Heaven! It is like the joy or finding a lost coin, a lost sheep, or lost son. In the New Evangelization, the Church is looking for lost Catholics in much the same way as Jesus presents in these three images.
Finally, the centerpiece of the New Evangelization is the Eucharist. This is where it all starts. You all can be a big part of the New Evangelization simply by inviting someone to be your “Mass buddy”. This is a huge part of bringing people to Christ. And, you never know what can happen when they come here. IT could happen for them what happened to me when I was 21 – that was the first time I understood that “this is my body” means this is my body. I finally learned that the Eucharist is real. I finally learned that Christ is real…not just up in Heaven…but real to me here and now. We are all invited to bring people to experience Christ’s reality. We are all invited to bring people to Jesus and Jesus to people.
24th Sunday of Ordinary Time - Homily
A recent survey found that “approximately one-third of all respondents who say they were raised Catholic no longer describe themselves as Catholic. This means that roughly 10% of all Americans are former Catholics”. Wow. That’s very sad. There are many reasons why so many people have left the Church. One underlying point is that almost every single one of these people is like St. Paul – at least, how he used to be: in ignorance. They really don’t know what the Church is all about; if they did, they were never leave. And, like St. Paul, they need to be mercifully treated. I don’t blame them exclusively. In fact, the Church has to do a better job of teaching people what it means to be Catholic. It has to do a much better job of showing Jesus Christ to people. This is exactly what the “New Evangelization” of the Church is all about.
The New Evangelization means reaching out to people, especially those who have left the Church, and showing them Christ. In my opinion, this primarily means leading them to the Eucharist. There was a study done years ago that found that 70% of Catholics believe that the Eucharist is only a symbol of the Body and Blood of Christ. Again, people don’t believe the teaching because they don’t know the teaching. The Church needs to do a better job of teaching that the Eucharist is truly and really the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. The New Evangelization involves teaching and showing the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
The other primary staple of the New Evangelization should be Confession. Once someone begins to see that Christ is real in the Eucharist, then he or she will see that He is real in the Confession. This is how it happened for me. I learned that Christ is really present in the Eucharist and then realized that he is present in the confessional (and all the sacraments). It’s really Him forgiving sins through the priest. The Eucharist and Confession are real! If Catholics really knew this, they would never leave the Church.
Jesus helps us to see that Confession is real with tonight’s parable, the Prodigal Son. This parable is often used to explain the sacrament of Confession. The son is each one of us; the father is God the Father. We can all relate in some way to the son. He leaves home with his inheritance and probably thought, ‘I am free! I can do whatever I want now!’ And, this is what he did. He got into all kinds of bad stuff – a “life of dissipation”, Scripture says. This can be translated as “debauchery”, a more familiar word to college students. He was partying it up, getting hammered and hanging out with prostitutes.
He represents college students, not just with drinking or getting high, but with all kinds of stuff that are going on on this campus: random hooking up, cutting, skipping Mass, taking God’s name in vain and just throwing His sacred name all over the place, pornography, masturbation, gossip, and all kinds of stuff. He got in way deep with this and then basically realized, “this stinks. The swine are living better than I am’. This type of living brought him to his knees. We might call this rock bottom. He realized that he wasn’t happy and that he screwed up. He needed to return to his father.
When he returned, his father didn’t scream at him or ask him where he had been. After all of this, the father embraced him, kissed him, and threw him a big party. This is the image of God the Father any time one of us returns to Him…any time one of us asks for mercy…any time one of us goes to Confession. God the Father always offers mercy to us. And, that is what I offer you in Confession. No matter what kind of debauchery you’ve been in or how long you’ve been in it, I will offer you mercy in Confession. It is the mercy of the Father that I offer you.
This is what the Church is offering in the New Evangelization. It is bringing people to the mercy of Christ and bringing the mercy of Christ to people. When I evangelize about God’s Mercy, especially through Confession, I refer to this Gospel. Three times we heard that there is great rejoicing in Heaven when a sinner repents. So, when someone returns to Confession after being away for a while or for something big, there is a great party in Heaven! It is like the joy or finding a lost coin, a lost sheep, or lost son. In the New Evangelization, the Church is looking for lost Catholics in much the same way as Jesus presents in these three images.
Finally, the centerpiece of the New Evangelization is the Eucharist. This is where it all starts. You all can be a big part of the New Evangelization simply by inviting someone to be your “Mass buddy”. This is a huge part of bringing people to Christ. And, you never know what can happen when they come here. IT could happen for them what happened to me when I was 21 – that was the first time I understood that “this is my body” means this is my body. I finally learned that the Eucharist is real. I finally learned that Christ is real…not just up in Heaven…but real to me here and now. We are all invited to bring people to experience Christ’s reality. We are all invited to bring people to Jesus and Jesus to people.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
"Worth the Pain" - Disciple
Disciple just put out a new album this week and in my opinion, it's REALLY good. Their song "Dear X, You Don't Own Me" is phenomenal, but not my favorite on the album. This song is. It makes me realize that life is worth the struggle. Yeah, it gets really hard sometimes and I feel like the only thing that could make it go away is by way of self-injury, but the longer I stay clean, the more I realize that the lie of "relief" from self-injury is exactly that...a lie. Cutting only makes my life harder. I beat myself up over it, I have to try to hide the cuts, etc. It makes my life a living hell, to be totally honest. The last week and a half has been hard, I'm not gonna lie, but I'm not giving up. I'm going to beat this.
The light at the end has faded away
One terror after another
Somewhere in the fire
The embers of faith
Will burn through tomorrow
You’re breathing
It’s worth the pain
It’s worth the pain
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
Your passionate eyes try to explain
All the blindness you’re feeling
The six feet of lies exposed in His fire
Resurrecting your sunrise
You’re breathing
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
There’s grace
When you’re at your wit’s end
Begging for it
He’ll take you by the hand
There’s grace
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
The light at the end has faded away
One terror after another
Somewhere in the fire
The embers of faith
Will burn through tomorrow
You’re breathing
It’s worth the pain
It’s worth the pain
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
Your passionate eyes try to explain
All the blindness you’re feeling
The six feet of lies exposed in His fire
Resurrecting your sunrise
You’re breathing
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
There’s grace
When you’re at your wit’s end
Begging for it
He’ll take you by the hand
There’s grace
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
It’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
It’s not too late to start again
It’s worth the pain
So hold on tonight
Friday, September 10, 2010
"Carry Me" - Audrey Assad
Well, I've been clean for 50 days :)
This song is one that has been a big blessing in my life lately. It reminds me of the Footprints poem. If you've never heard it of the Footprints poem, Google it.
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but
You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it
Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide
You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me
You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide
This song is one that has been a big blessing in my life lately. It reminds me of the Footprints poem. If you've never heard it of the Footprints poem, Google it.
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but
You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it
Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide
You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me
You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Vision of TWLOHA
Today's another day where people are writing LOVE on their arms in support of To Write Love On Her Arms. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week, so people are showing their support. Seeing "love" written on someone's arm means so much to me. It shows me that they support me in my struggle and that means a lot to someone like me who has suffered from depression and self-injury.
I just wanted to share with you a little more about TWLOHA. This absolutely incredible organization has brought awareness to something that's usually a taboo topic. It's really nice.
This is the vision of TWLOHA. It's absolutely incredible.
MISSION STATEMENT:
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
VISION:
The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.
We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.
The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.
The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.
The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.
The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.
The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.
The vision is hope, and hope is real.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
I just wanted to share with you a little more about TWLOHA. This absolutely incredible organization has brought awareness to something that's usually a taboo topic. It's really nice.
This is the vision of TWLOHA. It's absolutely incredible.
MISSION STATEMENT:
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
VISION:
The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.
We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.
The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.
The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.
The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.
The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.
The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.
The vision is hope, and hope is real.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Experiencing the Awesomeness of the Lord
Last night, 15 of my friends and I went up to a cemetery in Weirton, West Virginia, which is the town just across the river from Steubenville. This cemetery is on top of a HUGE hill and it looks over the river and the city. It's absolutely gorgeous, especially at sunset. Last night, the sunset just absolutely took my breath away. When I see beauty like that, it makes me wonder how people can not believe in God. It is crazy. The Lord has done so much for me and given me the strength and courage to fight the fight. Life can be REALLY hard, I know first hand. But I also know that it becomes easier when you let the Lord help you. The burden He carries is light and His yolk is made for 2: you and Him. Let Him help you.
This is a picture I took last night. The sunset looked amazing through my sunglasses.
This is a picture I took last night. The sunset looked amazing through my sunglasses.
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