Tuesday, July 30, 2013

"Now will you trust me?"

This was written by my friend Emily recently. It really resonates with me.

I sit quietly and wait for the Lord to speak to me. I try to hand over my struggle and my pain to Him with all my little and weak heart. I say to Him Lord make me new, make me clean. He answers with a pointed but unexpected question that almost seems irrelevant to me.
"Do you trust me?" 
I pause and think. I wish. I want to. But the answer is no.
The wind picks up slightly blowing in the trees around me. I've always felt the Holy Spirit in the wind. Especially in the dark moments before a storm. Like now, the sky is overcast.
Suddenly the leaves on the tree in front of me stop blowing. But I feel the wind continue behind me, touching the back of my neck. I glance over my shoulder and see the leaves of the dark green willow sway ever so slightly.
"See," He says, "I am still there."
A whispered word comes into my head.
'Always'
He has proven to me with this example in the wind that He is never gone, and never has been gone. Even when I can't see Him, can't feel Him, in my darkest moment, He was never gone.
He delivers me from death every day.
He says to me "See...now will you trust me?"
The wind continues.


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Going to Medjugorje tomorrow. Please pray for me and our group. I really need this trip. I've been struggling terribly lately. I need to get things right with God. 

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