4 months.

Today, I am 4 months cut-free. 120 days. Man, it's crazy. I didn't think I could ever do it, but day by day I am realizing that I am really starting to beat this. I've gone through some REALLY rough nights this last week, but I got through it because of the help of Erinn and Fr. Greg. They have been an incredible support team. There are no words for how grateful I am for them and the way they have stepped it up for me.

I have had 3 phone calls with Fr. Greg in the last week (which is A LOT more than usual. I maybe talk to him once every 2-3 weeks, if that). So, that kinda shows you where I'm at...He's been tough, but has been so compassionate in it all as well. He's reiterated how he's not going to bail on me. He said that if he hasn't left by now, he's not going anywhere. Just to talk to him is calming. Late Thursday, I talked to him and had a vent session. He just let me bust out everything that I'd been letting sit there. I went on a rant about how some of the people here at Franciscan need a humility check. So many people have a "Holier Than Thou" mentality and it pisses me off. I went on this huge long rant about it and then he told me that the cross wasn't pious. It wasn't perfect. It was dirty and nasty. So, he told me to remember that Jesus is able to understand what I'm going through. And I took that with me to Mass on Good Friday. I sat there and thought about how gruesome the cross was and what Jesus would have said to me from the cross. There were a lot of tears that day.

And Erinn. How to describe Erinn. Simply, one of the most phenomenal people I've ever met. She is such a great person to be around. We can just hang out doing something stupid or we can sit and have serious conversations. And I am completely comfortable with telling her I'm struggling. She has encouraged me a lot this week, especially when it comes to talking. I'm not someone who likes to talk about what is really bothering me, but there was one occasion in which she pretty much demanded I call Fr. Greg. She will also randomly text me to check on me and she knows when I'm giving her a bullshit answer. We hang out every single day and I am so grateful for that. She went with me to Haiti too, so we can talk about our "Haitian Baby Fever" together. Hahaha. Erinn, I know you read this. So, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you.

So, that's kinda where I'm at. I've got my ups and my downs, as usual. Some days are almost impossible to get through, but by the grace of God, I can.

I graduate from Franciscan University in 30 days and I'm moving to Romania in 4 months. Man, I can't believe it! Here comes the rest of my life, whether I'm ready for it or not. I'm pretty sure I'm ready ;)